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They're Gone

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Paul George,

I get it and it hurts.

The older I get, the more listing appointments I have with people at my same stage of life.   Empty nesters.

My sons Niko and Luka are now out of the house and boy, after just one week, it’s different.  Niko has been living close to Ohio State while in school and last week we dropped Luka off for his freshman year at Cincinnati.  The quiet moments in the house have already started.

When I sit with my clients who have called to say, “Paul, its time to size down,” I hear them.

Now, I’m actually feeling what they are feeling.  I know that things will never be the same.

All the stress, all the noise, all the sleepless nights and the messy rooms are gone now.  Even the complaining to the boys is now missed.

It is a time of reflection.

I want what is best for them, I want them to grow, I want them to see what is outside our Westerville bubble, but I’m still selfish and want things the way it used to be. I know it won’t happen.

I do have memories that will always be cherished, most of which are the relationships with our boys’ friends’ parents. That “community,” as well as the baseball parent “community,” will be missed the most. At our last baseball games and graduation parties the parents all talked about keeping in touch, but rarely they are able to.  Life gets busy and I know a lot of those relationships will slip away.

Last week, Linda and I went to the high school football game, and it already felt different. We were there to watch some friend’s younger kids, but Linda and I felt like outsiders. As we age, change gets harder and harder.   At this stage in life we are being forced to change.  So again, I get it.

The conversations I have on these listing appointments are a little tough. At our age, we are logical and no nonsense. Sellers have a very common scenario, which I also currently happen to be in. They have this rather large house, say 4 bedrooms and 3000 square feet, and know they don’t need all that space.  Naturally, we start looking at what is available.  We find a 2 bedroom, 2000 square foot condo or “simplified living” home, but it costs as much as the selling price of their current large house.  That’s the biggest dilemma! How do you convince a seller to sell their big house and buy a house half the size for the same price?  Remember, it’s all about lifestyle!  I basically have to convince them to “get over it and move on.”   I have to start with myself!  I know I will have to do it sometime, but I will go out kicking and fighting because I love where I live and yes, I hate change.  It will be a process, I know. I’ve seen it on my listing appointments.  Eventually, when they are ready, they embrace the change.

Embracing the next chapter is something I will have to do as well. I have to look forward to meeting a new community of friends, “dating” Linda again, embracing the quiet so I can read, enjoying my solemn walks with Ringo and trying to focus on being content in my new lifestyle.

I know the boys will be back, I know we will stay in touch with some friends but as I said, I now get what a lot of you are going through.  If you are not there yet, learn from others and how to prepare for what is coming.

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